I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize