Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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