Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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