His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
