just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
