No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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