You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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