omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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