They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
