Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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