is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
