I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
