Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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