You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I need moral support for this bender
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
