i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
