PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
