i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
