i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
