I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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