so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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