I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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