You work out of a Hotel?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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