Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
