Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
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