i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
