just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
