I heard we made out
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
