I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She needs sedatives and a leash
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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