There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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