I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
