shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Farmville is her only friend.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
