You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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