True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
