Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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