I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
