woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
