Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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