Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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