just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
