North Korea, Best Korea!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
