Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
