its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
