Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
