She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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