I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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