I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
