found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
