shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
