i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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