the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
