remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
