i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
