You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize