dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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