You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
