How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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