I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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