I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
