i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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