I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
