Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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