We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize