dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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