Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
