I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize