Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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