I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize