girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
