Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
