so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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