I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
