just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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